My birthdays coming up. July 13th I shall be a whopping 23 years of age. I'll still be blue eyed, still have medium length hair, still feel like I'm worn down and needing to get away from it all. I'll be the same, and yet I feel like I should feel different. If only just for one day I want to feel like everything in the world is perfect and wonderful, that the people whom I love are safe and happy, the people who do wrong things are getting bit in the ass by karma, and that I will feel nothing but happiness and joy for exsisting another year...

But reality hits and I know it'll all be the same. I'll still be holding back the tears that have been randomly picking the most inconvienent moments to appear, still be wishing that I could have done something, anything for my mother before what happened. I'll still be worn down and worried that at any moment, I'll get another call, finding out that someone I love has had something happen to them. I'll worry everytime a phone rings, and I'll be restless as I have been.

got to love reality..well not really..anyways

yay I suppose for 23, maybe getting to 24 wont be as hard. If anyone has a suggestion for a new icon for me to draw up I'd like to know it, I'm looking for some change, no matter how small it will seem to most it'll make me alittle happier.